Is it okay to tell God I don't actually want to give up a sin?

God does not need us to be liars. He does not need us to tell him everything that we think that he wants us to say. We often think and approach God in such a way that we say, oh Lord, X, Y, Z, blah blah blah. And sometimes God is listening and he's like, just stop lying to me for once. Just tell me the truth. Don't tell me you're frustrated. Tell me you hate that person, because you hate them. Don't tell me that you're irritated. Tell me that you don't want to ever talk to that person again. Don't tell me that you want to forgive them, because in the depths of your heart you don't want to forgive them, and you're struggling with that. So many times I think we lose so much time spiritually in our life just by lying to God and not being honest with him. Sometimes we love our sins. How many times have people said that, oh, I hate my sin, oh, I wish I could stop doing it. That's not true. That's not true. Sometimes we love our sins and we don't want to get rid of them. Sometimes we like nasty or ugly parts of our personality because we feel like they keep us safe or they protect us. They make us feel like we're better than other people, and we feel insecure, so we don't want to get rid of the pride, or we don't want to get rid of the egotism. Or when somebody does something to humble us, we don't want to be humbled. Sometimes we love the things that we shouldn't love. We want to hold on to the things that we shouldn't want to hold on to. Sometimes it's flat out, we're just dishonest. And yet the beauty of this man in front of everybody, with pain of heart, with true sincerity, with tears, with tears. He says what? I believe. There's an exclamation point here. He's yelling, I believe. And then that second part that is so brutally honest: help me with my unbelief. Even in that he's honest with Christ. He's honest with him. I do believe, but there's a part of me that doesn't. And what about that? That power to be that honest and that vulnerable in front of everybody. He doesn't say, I'm a great righteous man, Lord, I love you with my whole heart. We were talking about this the other day, when sometimes people say, God loves you, but they say it in such a way that it's like syrup with too much sugar and it makes your stomach turn. You're like, why don't I get the sense that that's true when a person says it? It's an emotionalism. They're trying to convince you. It's not a fact. It's not a reality. It's like when people are so sweet and nice, I will have to say, they're so sweet they'll give you a cavity. There's something about the sweetness that isn't real sweetness. It's not genuine. This man is fully genuine. Fully genuine. He has taken total ownership of his life, the state of his soul, his faith, with tears in his eyes. What is he really saying to Christ? I really want to believe, and by every single ounce of my soul I want you to heal my son, because this is killing me. And yet, to be honest with you, there's a bit of me that doesn't believe. There's a bit of me that is uncertain or unsure. Help me with my unbelief. Cure it by your power. So many times we hide away the little aspects of ourself that we don't want to show. Again, the things that we love, the things that we don't want to get rid of, the things that we don't want to change about ourselves. If we just took a minute to tell Christ, I really don't want to change this, I actually don't, I know that you want me to change it, so be the change within me, Lord. Make that a reality. Help and heal and change my soul from the inside out, and please be merciful and work with me, because it's not even what I want. So often we don't think to pray like this. And yet if we began to pray like this, with real sincerity, with real honesty, how quickly would God hear those prayers and hearken unto us and draw near to us?